Salinger and Cadbury Creme Eggs

"Just because I'm so horribly conditioned to accept everybody else's values, and just because I like applause and people to rave about me, doesn't make it right. I'm ashamed of it. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of not having the courage to be an absolute nobody. I'm sick of myself and everybody else that wants to make some kind of a splash." -- Franny Glass in "Franny and Zooey" by J.D. Salinger

Even though it's very chic for a young woman to relate to Franny Glass, I think it's interesting that I gave into the hype and decided to read "Franny and Zooey" right now. Admittedly, I've only read "Franny" and should really re-read that more carefully before undertaking a criticism or analysis of the text. Nevertheless, this particular passage seems to articulate a lot of what I've been feeling lately. I love it when people love me; I like to be the best; I hate not being good at something; Much of what I have been doing is because I want to be successful, or smart, or worldly, or admired. I hadn't considered, until recently, the courage it really does take to be an absolute nobody and not make a splash. Moving back in with my parents and being unemployed are certainly "nobody" traits, but I do not have the courage to be a nobody yet. Can we really ever be somebody until we have the boldness to be nobody for a while? Having this kind of courage is manifested in a life of humility.

After spending the last 9 months or so thinking about humility and a humble life, it seems that the "courage to be nobody" that Franny is talking about is really a yearning for a more authentically humble life. Humility, from a biblical standpoint, is a really simple concept - consider others better than yourself. It sounds simple, but it's really difficult to do. Imagine if everyone lived as though they were no better than anyone else. I know that this is how I should be living, and yet, I don't because I'm seeking the applause. The splash that I make shouldn't matter to me, and I shouldn't be comparing my splash to everyone else's. Ultimately, I need to focus more on what makes me happy, what will make a difference, and what my calling is and not on what I should be doing and what makes me look successful. If only life were as simple and sweet as Cadbury Creme Eggs at Easter.

Now, I'm no Cadbury fanatic; I only eat one Cadbury Creme Egg every year at Eastertime. I'm not actually convinced that I like the taste of them, but every year I get a craving when I see them in the store. They make my teeth hurt. Today, I had my obligatory Creme Egg in all it's creamy and chocolaty goodness. After the first bite, I thought to myself "Why am I eating this? Chocolate covered sugar is kind of disgusting." But as soon as I saw the orangey-yellow "yolk" of the egg, my heart swelled with the Eggs of Easters past. As I sucked my teeth from the pain of so much sugar and licked my fingers for the last bits, I knew I'd have another egg next year.